Every devotee has his unique way of reaching Swami’s lotus feet. He knows how to call and when. We only need to feel fortunate that He decided to call us to Him.  In the following few paragraphs, I will share with you how Swami drew me to Him and how at every level He has been guiding me and protecting me.

With my orthodox family background, seeing Sivabhishekas, Lingaarchanas from childhood, coupled with my mother’s devotional stories, chanting Lord Siva’s name became a playful habit from childhood which progressed till the level of dream darsans later.

First Visit to Puttaparthi: In 1968, after my postgraduation, job opportunities came as a demonstrator in some colleges and a lecturership in Kothagudem, (labor-oriented coal mine area, known for Naxals activities). I opted for the lecturer job. This option made me a younger faculty than some older degree students, with associated challenges of cultural variation during which period my old association with Lord Siva returned and I felt His invisible hand in myriad and unspecified ways.

During those days came a Sai devotee’s friendly suggestion that Siva’s re-incarnation is Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, and as it did not appeal to me, he did not broach the matter further. But from then on, I started witnessing perplexing divine leelas and new challenges.

The devotee mentioned that Swami would perform lingodbhava (manifestation of the lingam) during Sivaratri festival and I should avail the opportunity of being present on that occasion. In 1971 I took a solo Puttaparthi visit for Sivaratri, more for Lingodbhava, and reached a day before. I did not have any direct interaction with Swami, but Swami’s Darshan, Lingodbhavam, accommodation in the old Mandir, the way Swami walked, left an inexplicable happy feeling in me for no attributable reason. From then on I started noticing Swami’s indirect moulding of me.

Among Swami’s innumerable experiences, a couple are presented below.  

Drawing Family towards Him: I got married in 1971. My wife was a Hanuman devotee, whom Lord Hanuman had guided at various levels, including our marriage. We planned a Puttaparthi visit in 1973. My wife then had tonsillitis, cold-sensitivity and was unfamiliar with Swami & Prasanthi Nilayam. She was apprehensive about sleeping on the floor of our accommodation in the Old Mandir. While sleeping on the floor that night, she was worried that her tonsils will flare-up and she would have fever by next morning. But to her surprise she woke up feeling normal with no evidence of the tonsillitis. This convinced her once and for all about Swami’s Divinity and made us first-generation Sai-devotees in our individual families. Moreover, then on, her tonsillitis problem disappeared forever. From then onwards we visited Puttaparthi more often, initially concentrating on Darshan, meditation under the Vata Vriksha than Seva and other activities as a practice.  

With increase in the frequency of visits, we started getting involved in Seva activities of the Sai Samithi. In that period seeing devotees walking-out of Interview room with glittering faces was a common sight. But still the thought of asking Swami for interview never occurred to me nor Swami granted me one.  

While time kept flying this way, once three of us from our Samithi came to Parthi and Swami granted interview to only the other two. This perplexed me with different questions like “What is wrong with me? With higher goals than them don’t I deserve that privilege? Is it not discrimination? What to understand from this? etc. I strongly felt like not leaving Parthi without an answer and intensified my prayers and stayed 6 more days even though they left. Thus far my experiences had been clear and indirect experiences but that day I had my first direct experience in which Swami taught me a deep spiritual lesson.

Inner view not Interview and I am with each-one but not alike

During Parthi visits my stay was in Ganapathi shed (present Subhramanya temple area, handled by one Mr. Sharma) With this incident, my orientation became trying for first row to ask Swami for an interview. Four days passed with no sign of interview and on 5th day morning, when I sat in queue waiting for entry, silently repeating Lalitha-sahasra as usual, an elderly villager sat next to me and asked, “where are you from?” which I heard but did not answer considering it as an unwarranted disturbance. When he prodded further, I replied curtly and restarted my silent prayers. He became silent, but started his soliloquies in a murmuring tone. “What is this Swami usually you give me interview immediately but now 4 days have passed without an answer from you. Don’t know why is He behaving like this? What’s wrong? Normally I get spot interviews, etc.”, which all deeply disturbed me more than his earlier enquiries, with raising doubts in my mind like “How it’s possible? To get interviews from Swami so frequently? Why Swami was giving this man so many interviews when one was sufficient? etc. Even though he never disturbed me, due to my inquisitiveness I forgot chanting the Lalitha Sahasranama and I started probing him with questions. From him I understood that Swami had granted him many interviews and in the interviews the conversation revolved around the marriage of his daughters, naming his grandchildren, which crops to sow etc., which perplexed me with thoughts like “Can there be such interviews also?” coupled with inner affirmation like “Swami, I am not expecting any such interview and You know what I am going to ask for which is self-realisation. My belief is on Your ability than my deservedness hence, can’t leave You till I get that” etc., went into my thoughts losing sense of the surroundings. Suddenly with a bang I came out of my thoughts to notice that villager was missing. Swami was in Darshan, walking amidst adoring devotees. Swami walked past me with an impish smile as if asking “whether I understood what interviews meant.” Thoughts flashed in the mind at that moment that “what is required is inner-view than interview followed by another thought that this all-capable Swami can fulfill even Moksha with His mere look and for that an Interview is not required”. By which time Swami has gone ahead couple of steps, pleasantly stopped to turn around blessed me with “NETRA DEEKSHA” (a deep look into my eyes). This gave me a feeling that my tailor-made self-suiting path is indirect unlike others and I need not compare my experiences with others and judge.    

God in Light and Light is God :

Once when I sat for Darshan, Swami during His discourse said. “Wherever you go, you are going to find me only”. After some days, some of my friends were visiting Sabrimala for the Darshan of the deity and the Darshan of the Makara Jyothi. After Aiyappa’s Darshan we waited for the Makara Jyoti’s Darshan.  And soon enough there was a light on the top of the opposite hillock. All devotees got very excited. But I was not impressed, as it looked to me like a forest fire. I was familiar with forest fires on the hillocks around Kothagudem. While my thought-flow continued this way, another light appeared little away with different texture. Unwittingly I started to compare and contrast them. After few seconds the latter disappeared. My thoughts were like “Looks something special with the 2nd light. But if appears once again I can confirm it. It vanished before I could make any sense of it.”

Surprisingly it appeared once again. I was convinced of its Divine origin. Then the words of Swami in the discourse came to me. “Wherever you go you will see Me only.” Then came the following thought “If it’s divine, it should appear 3rd time indicating its relationship with Sai. “Not surprisingly it appeared a third time and inside the light was white robed Swami in a Jhoola. The vision was so powerful that I fell unconscious. When I returned to my senses, I thanked Swami profusely for the wonderful vision.

Years passed with our active participation in Sai Samithi activities. All my children (two girls & boy) joined Swami’s fold as school children. Every aspect of life got filled with Swami making me an instrument. Among darsans, Christmas day’s Suprabhatam Darshan was fascinating to me, which I used to try to have.

After about 10 years of Swami’s darshan in Sabarimala-Jyothi, during one of my official Hyderabad visits in December, I visited Puttaparthi on 25th Dec morning to have Suprabhata-Darshan. From Hyderabad, I booked a night bus to reach Puttaparthi in the morning, but I missed Swami’s darshan by a few minutes, which was unusual. I started contemplating, “Is there anything wrong with me for it to happen this way? A peculiar inexplicable feeling (not unhappy / dejected / sad) gripped me even while I was meditating. I came for morning Darshan and stood outside the boundary wall instead of sitting inside. Swami was gracefully moving from ladies’ side towards gents’ side and stood for a while in the center (close to present Samadhi) while my eyes were tracking Him thoughtlessly. 

Suddenly I felt Swami turning into a bright yellow light. This sight made me start losing consciousness. Some people around me started patting me and one forcibly placed a tablet in my mouth, while I was in a dream-like situation. After few minutes in that state, I walked away to the Ganapathi shed unusually while Swami was still in Darshan area and started contemplating “whether it’s Swami’s Jyothi-Darshana-Phala (gift) or illusion suffered due to some sickness”. My visit was unknown to my children (who were in school) as it was a last-minute plan. My son (Chi. Ananth) who was in school suddenly came inside the shed to give an apple saying that it was blessed by Swami. Surprised at his unexpected and untimely act, when I suggested him to eat it himself, his reply was “Mine is with me. It’s for you.” For questions “how he knew of my untold arrival? And how are you here at school time?” His reply was evasive saying “just like that”. When he was about to leave, I offered chocolates brought from Hyderabad. Surprisingly His reply is “to give them evening in school” and he flew off. That evening in the school when I met all the children, I came to know that he never ventured out of the school the whole morning. I was in silent tears for His grace of “Jyotisar and Sai-jyothi”, in addition to clearing my doubt that way proving beyond doubt of His “Inta-Venta-Janta” protective aspect.  

Sai the Protector

Seva activities continued in full swing while time flew past. My children also settled. In 2002, my wife, me and two more persons were coming to Puttapathi in our car. I was driving our Matiz car.  It was 5.00 am near Anantapur on the highway and our car was doing around 80 km/hr. Right ahead I witnessed a multi-layered two-wheeler carrier truck had tilted and was lying horizontal across the breadth of the road. The two wheelers it was carrying had spilled on to the road. In that high speed a horrible collision was completely inevitable. There were three options: Ramming into the vehicle and our car getting completely smashed. The car getting in the gap between the front and the back wheels of the truck. The car getting crushed under the tilting truck. There was nothing else that could have happened. But when Swami protects, magic happens. Our car went and hit the rear tyre of the truck. That took away a lot of the impact and broke the front axle and then veered our car away from the tilting truck and the scooters on the ground. I had minor fractures, but they did not require any kind of hospitalization.  We call Swami the Sanatana Sarathi. Well not only is He the eternal charioteer he also chariots us to safety in dire situations.  

 Retiring to His Spiritual Vehicle: On recovery from the accident, my activities continued and retirement (as General Manager, Singareni) came close and my wish was to serve in Swami’s organizations. I had a dilemma as to which Institution to apply to. Hence I prayed to Swami for guidance.  

During my Seva visits, in the 1990s, I served once at the SSSIHMS, Prasanthigram. After Seva I also donated blood at the Blood Bank and had received a blood donor card. This card I had kept safely. But later for some reason I could not trace it and I felt it had got lost. After my prayer next day, an old mother-like devotee who stayed in our neighbourhood came to our house and handed over my blood donor card saying that she had found it in her house while cleaning and as it belonged to me, she wanted to return it to me.

Taking it as Swami’s guidance, when I approached the Hospital with post-retirement honorary service proposal from July 2007, Swami welcomed me with open arms. After some formalities I joined the hospital from July 2007. Currently with Swami’s Grace I am working here as Chief (Admin, Security & HR).    

The saying that “Achieving Swami’s Grace is achieving everything in life and achieving all things other than Swami’s grace is achieving nothing” is absolutely true. 

Jai Sai Ram. 

JAI SAI RAM