Sai Entering Our Lives

Our Loving Lord has always had a unique way of entering our lives. I am quite sure all of us have a unique experience to share. Those were the days that we had shifted to a new colony in the city of Bhubaneshwar, Odisha. One pleasant evening my mother and we children heard some sounds of musical instruments being played. As we went near we also heard some devotional songs being sung. One person would lead and others in the group would follow it. There was a captivating image of someone in a saffron robe, whom the group was worshipping. The atmosphere was so imbued with Divine energy that we just sat there along with the group and enjoyed singing the devotional songs. On enquiry we came to know these were called bhajans and the captivating image being worshiped was of Sri Sathya Sai Baba. The Divine atmosphere affected us so much that from then on our family started involving in the activities of the Sathya Sai Samiti and we children joined the Balavikas classes. I was just 4 years old; I never knew these sessions would roll out for me a red carpet to the Ultimate.

Samadhi Experience 

Krishna was our family deity and therefore, I always loved learning and singing Krishna Bhajans. During my Dasahara holidays, my sister was taken to our uncle’s hometown to spend her vacation. I also wanted to go along with her, but I was devastated to know that I was to stay back. I wept uncontrollably for not being able to go with my sister. I was very young and I remembered my Balvikas Guru saying that Swami can solve every problem and relieve any pain. Mother failed to console me and left to neighbour’s home to attend Ramayana Parayanam. I started signing Darsan De Nandalal Gopala, Darsan De Nandalal crying all the time. I was intensely praying to Lord Krishna. Something prompted me and I stepped out and opened the door of my house. I was stunned when I witnessed Bala Gopala (little Krishna) dancing at a distance. Little Krishna, the enchanting one, adorned by silky white robes and captivating smile was dancing continuously. I was dumbstruck and kept on watching the scene, mesmerized. I ensured that I did not blink, for I was afraid, that Krishna may disappear. I completely lost myself watching Krishna and slowly I saw Him disappear into thin air.

 I ran to my mother to narrate all that I had just experienced, but words would not come out of my mouth. I was speechless, because I had entered a phase of complete thoughtlessness, a trance-like state. It took me several hours to regain my ordinary state of being. After hearing this, my family was overjoyed and expressed their gratitude to Swami for blessing me with this rare yet profound opportunity. Years later I came to know that the state, which I had experienced after Krishna’s Darshan was called Samadhi state and rishis and munis spend years in deep meditation to experience that state. And here I was, a four-year-old girl, being blessed by Swami with the same experience. After this experience, a feeling of renunciation began to take root in my heart. I lost all interest in the mundane pleasures of life and I sought to dedicate myself somehow in the pursuit of spirituality and I knew in my heart that Swami will help me in this endeavor. However, I could not ever dream that He would make me His instrument in His majestic mission. Thus my journey started from Krishna Gopal to Sai Gopal and from Odisha to Prasanthi Nilayam.

Call from the Divine

 I used to visit Yoga centers and other ashrams in our place to learn Asanas and other form of Yoga. I used to pray to Swami to bless me with an opportunity to live in a sacred environment.

It was mid 1993 when I applied for the Nurse Training course at SSIHMS, Prasanthigram. In September 1993, I received a call letter for an interview. I could not believe that I was selected. Many of my family members visited Parthi but my brother and I had never got that opportunity. So, both of us took this as an opportunity and came to Puttaparthi for my interview. Those days it was not an easy task to reach Puttaparthi from Odisha. One had to change multiple trains and buses. The journey was difficult initially. My brother was getting frustrated with all the getting in and out of trains and buses. All that we could do eventually was to call Swami for help. And Swami’s help was instantaneous. Immediately we met another passenger going to Parthi for the same purpose and they were from Andhra Pradesh. Our major problems of dealing with a different language and figuring out the way to reach the hospital were solved. Who says that drawing Swami toward us is difficult? HE is a call away. If we call HIM with all faith, HE will be there before we end our prayer. I was trained in Nursing at the SSSIHMS, Prasanthigram and I joined the institution as a staff nurse. We all were literally living with Swami in every way. Swami used to often visit the hospital and He filled our lives with opportunities of His Darshan, Sparshan and Sambhashan. Our lives revolved only around Him.

The First Darshan

In the initial days of our training here, we had just joined the college and could not have Swami’s Darshan since He was in Brindavan, Bangalore. The desire to have His Darshan was reaching a zenith and in my daily prayers I was literally pestering Him for His Darshan. The next day our authorities told all the students to assemble near our main gate. We did not know the reason then, but what I witnessed was totally unexpected and a pleasant surprise. Our Lord was arriving from Bangalore, and when I had His Darshan my hands got folded on their own and tears of joy rolled down my cheeks. He lifted His Abhaya Hasta and blessed all of us from His car. That was my incredible first Darshan of Bhagawan. I earned it with the pining heart. But I was not satisfied yet. Why Darshan through car window? We came all the way here Swami. You did not even enquire about us. So the prayers continued…

An Earnest Wish Fulfilled

The very next day our superintendent asked us to assemble in the prayer hall of our hospital. The Lord of our hearts arrived there. This time He enquired about all of us and proceeded with the hospital visit. After which He blessed us with a group photo. My entire being jumped with joy for being in a photograph with the Lord of universe, the creator who created us.

It was our practice to go for Darshan every day to Prasanthi Nilayam from the hospital before starting our work. Swami who would generally visit our hospital now and then did not visit for more than a week. Disappointed by this, I decided not to go for Darshan from that day onwards, till Swami visited the hospital. One of my colleagues asked me about not going for Darshan. I replied saying that we are going there every day and that Swami had to come and give us Darshan in the hospital. After some time we received a message that Swami was visiting the hospital. We made all the arrangements. Swami arrived. We all were standing in a row to have His Darshan. He straight came to me and asked me, what is your name? Where do you come from? As I answered Swami repeated “OK …. ACHARYA…….. ORISSA”

Swami looked at the guests who had come with Him and said “ORISSA …. see people come from far off places and work in my institutions.” A bolt of lightning struck me. This was exactly what I had been thinking about all this while.

My happiness knew no bounds. Being human, I behaved foolishly asking why He could NOT come to hospital to give us Darshan. But the Lord of compassion ran to our proximity. Could there be any words to describe His Love for us? I could only shed tears of joy and gratitude. This incident taught me that whatever you think or feel is immediately known to Swami and He fulfills a sincere wish in the most unique way.

Swami Visiting Our Hostel

On one occasion, our In-charges requested Swami to visit our hostel in the campus. It was a wish of every resident of the hostel. Sai Ma responded positively. The preparations to receive Swami were going on in full swing. To all our surprise and shock, Swami came to the hostel to supervise the arrangements a day before His actual visit. We all had special Darshan, which was unofficial and intimate. We were performing the decorations singing His glory and thinking only of Him. When collective heartfelt prayers went on, Swami responded immediately. He enquired about every small detail about the hostel and the prayer hall, the seating arrangement etc.

Next day our Divine Mother walked into the hostel ‘officially’. We students were divided into two blocks - front and second - with a walking space in between. I was held up with some arrangements and was unable to sit in the front block. I could only sit on the first line of the second block. Swami’s throne was put at the right hand side corner of the prayer hall. Swami sat there and I was far from His chair. I was feeling extremely sad about this. All I knew was to pray and I was doing it non-stop. Swami suddenly got up from the chair and start walking. Everyone thought Swami may be going back to Prasanthi Nilayam. To our surprise He came and stood in between the two blocks. I could see him now; in fact He was right in front of me. He delivered His divine discourse for an hour. I just kept staring at him. I forgot everything around me and even myself. Later Swami asked our Supervisor to distribute prasadam, took arathi and started walking out of the hall. As He was coming out I was blessed with his Padanamaskaram. After this, my friend who was sitting behind me asked me. “What is this Kamal, for the entire discourse Swami was looking at you and delivering His message as through He came to speak only to you!” I realised then that throughout His discourse except for a few moments He was looking only at me. I was worrying about not getting opportunity to sit in the front; here He had blessed me with this rare opportunity to be close to Him also receive His Padanamaskar.

Loving and Living God

I then realised that all His acts are filled with profound significance and we must humbly accept them. They will bear fruit at the right time. In every experience of devotees, we notice that Swami always answers the true prayers of His devotees and always give them more than what they would have expected. He also leaves us with profound lessons to help us to elevate ourselves to higher levels of consciousness so that we can be closer to him.

When we involve ourselves in His work, He completely takes charge of us. His love flows to protect us, His children, no matter where we are. Every child of His has a library of experiences to share. It is not our greatness but His unconditional love. He is ours and we are His. We may miss His physical presence but not Him. He continues to care for us, bless us and be with us. Our Swami is not only a Loving God, but also a Living God.

Jai Sai Ram